"How are you?"
I dislike this question.
English is my second language. Even though by this time most people think that it is my mother tongue, I still feel uncomfortable with a few things about this language.
"Hello. How are you?"
Most common greeting - yet it is the most uncomfortable ever. Why? Because people who ask this, do not really mean it. So here are some situations that I have come across when people ask me how I was:
* before I can answer "good" or "fine", already the person who asked me has walked away (but I thought the person cared enough to ask "how are you"?!)
* if my answer is anything other than "good" or "fine", then the person will proceed to look shocked - wow, so there is some other choice of answer other than good or fine!
* I could ask "how are you" and the person would reply back "how are you". What is this? Why answer a question with a question? Seems rude, if you ask me.
Another phrase that is popular - when I am introduced at a social gathering, say, as someone's friend. The person who gets the introduction would say: oh, how wonderful!
My inner voice would go: huh?
How wonderful? What kind of a reply is that? How is anyone to reply to that?
Isn't it all better if we would just say what we mean! Do not say "how are you" when you are not ready to genuinely listen to how the person was. Don't ask "how was your day" if you do not mean it. I personally feel shitty when someone asks me "how are you" then walk away immediately. There is no closure to the conversation. It's still hanging - without a chance to conclude.
And if you are being introduced to someone, don't say "how wonderful!" It is much more proper to say: nice to meet you.
If you ever see me on the street and ask me how I am, don't be surprised if I appear to be astonished. After spending so many years in an English speaking country, I am absolutely uncomfortable with a question that is asked out of politeness and nothing else. Better to say "hi" or "hello", not follow up with a "how are you".
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