I came across this post from http://swotvision.blogspot.com/; I've edited out the parts taht were not relevant to the title.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Keeping Balance When It Comes To Referrals
Recently I sat down with a very nice woman who was fairly new to sales. Her interest in meeting with me was to ask some specific questions about networking. She had read my book and particularly enjoyed my strategies as it related to building the "right kind" of network.
Anyway, this fine lady asked an important question that I felt was worth sharing with you guys. She asked what happens when you give and you give to those in your network and you don't ever receive anything in return. What should she do?
As most of you know, I have a long held belief that you don't keep score....but you do keep track! And when you keep track, you do have a certain entitlement to remind people what you do for them from time to time.
In this particular instance she happened to mention that she had shared a number of leads with a guy who owns a networking services company. To her knowledge, most if not all of her leads had resulted in business for her friend. However, after a year and a half, she had yet to receive any return opportunities from this individual.
The solution I suggested to her was simple. I suggested she pick up the phone or take the guy out to lunch and broach the subject like this.....
"You know Ted I have referred a number of opportunities that appear to have paid off quite nicely for you and your company. I am very happy to pass your name along when and if the opportunity should present itself. I did wonder however, what it might take for you to return the favor and possibly refer opportunities as you see them that might be appropriate for me and my company?"
I then told her to not say another word. Poker time!
Two things will happen.
1. If Ted isn't a complete taker he will realize how unbalanced things have been and will feel an immediate pang of guilt. It will result in Ted feverishly looking for opportunities for her now or in the immediate future to restore balance to their relationship. Good result!
2. Ted might be a taker. He will display how much he values the relationship and her efforts by how he responds. In other words, if he doesn't sound somewhat apologetic or at least concerned about the impression this unbalance has been created, he will forever be a taker and therefore she should not expect business from him now, next week, next month or ever. Cut him loose!
Bottom line, you should always do things for other people not because what you will get in return. That has always been my philosophy. However in a business relationship such as this example, there is give and there is take. I think a friendly reminder every once in a while is a good way to keep people honest, committed and focused on promoting and building a mutually beneficial relationship.
I got tired of networking groups a while ago, and so far have never got back to them. Why? Because some groups put a lot of pressure on giving each other leads. I simply can no longer participate in these groups because I don't know if I can trust people whom I have never worked with before. And even if I can trust those people, I don't know if I can trust their products and services. I don't have time or cash to try them all before recommending them to others.
Anyway, this fine lady asked an important question that I felt was worth sharing with you guys. She asked what happens when you give and you give to those in your network and you don't ever receive anything in return. What should she do?
As most of you know, I have a long held belief that you don't keep score....but you do keep track! And when you keep track, you do have a certain entitlement to remind people what you do for them from time to time.
In this particular instance she happened to mention that she had shared a number of leads with a guy who owns a networking services company. To her knowledge, most if not all of her leads had resulted in business for her friend. However, after a year and a half, she had yet to receive any return opportunities from this individual.
The solution I suggested to her was simple. I suggested she pick up the phone or take the guy out to lunch and broach the subject like this.....
"You know Ted I have referred a number of opportunities that appear to have paid off quite nicely for you and your company. I am very happy to pass your name along when and if the opportunity should present itself. I did wonder however, what it might take for you to return the favor and possibly refer opportunities as you see them that might be appropriate for me and my company?"
I then told her to not say another word. Poker time!
Two things will happen.
1. If Ted isn't a complete taker he will realize how unbalanced things have been and will feel an immediate pang of guilt. It will result in Ted feverishly looking for opportunities for her now or in the immediate future to restore balance to their relationship. Good result!
2. Ted might be a taker. He will display how much he values the relationship and her efforts by how he responds. In other words, if he doesn't sound somewhat apologetic or at least concerned about the impression this unbalance has been created, he will forever be a taker and therefore she should not expect business from him now, next week, next month or ever. Cut him loose!
Bottom line, you should always do things for other people not because what you will get in return. That has always been my philosophy. However in a business relationship such as this example, there is give and there is take. I think a friendly reminder every once in a while is a good way to keep people honest, committed and focused on promoting and building a mutually beneficial relationship.
I got tired of networking groups a while ago, and so far have never got back to them. Why? Because some groups put a lot of pressure on giving each other leads. I simply can no longer participate in these groups because I don't know if I can trust people whom I have never worked with before. And even if I can trust those people, I don't know if I can trust their products and services. I don't have time or cash to try them all before recommending them to others.
In the above post, the person got upset because she has given leads to another without the person returning the favor. Perhaps the person hasn't come across good leads for her! No amount of talking would help.
It is best if we can give out of our own good heart without expecting return, especially in this case - networking for referrals. When some sort of return is expected, the whole networking concept turns bad - people give leads to each other just because they are pressured to. I know that if my name was given out to someone because the person was pressured to give out a lead, I'd be angry. Frankly, I don't need to hear any pitch that I didn't ask for. And if I am interested in something, and the person's pitch sounds like a pitch, I will not buy it.
We already network with others naturally. There are services and products we like and dislike, and we all talk about them. There is word of mouth advertising without having to deliberately do it to eleviate the pressure that has been set by networking groups.
