Spending time in such a place for a month was challenging because I was with the same group of people - maybe 150 of them the whole time. This means we got to see our worst selves under bad conditions - long days, nasty tasting food, crowded and dirty washrooms, and dealing with mother nature. The facades some people have for the first week quickly wore off.
We all had to do "rota" work - meaning maintenance of the retreat - household work. Sample duties include: washroom cleaning, cooking, kitchen and dining hall cleaning, etc. We were assigned to a rota. I have found that in this retreat, a person's true face shows in rota time.
People can put up a facade of being spiritual - being friendly, nice, put up things on the altar of the temple and doing it with enthusiasm. But when it comes to rota work, here's what I have noticed:
* people chatting with each other not doing the rota work
* people sleeping late to avoid rota work
* people doing the rota work badly - not cleaning properly, doing the job too fast and leaving stains everywhere
This tells me that most people are not who they are dressed up to be. They may be in attractive outfits and have great hairdos. But when it comes down to who they are, they haven't worked on how they live and how they treat others. Surely good appearances count - but in living with them for a month, appearances only count in the first few days before the imperfections show. We all have imperfections - but it's another thing all together when there is no effort put in to change - it tells me that deep down, these people do not care about others.
On the other hand, I have met some great people. These are people who do not put on facades, and being simply who they are. They don't try to impress others. They do their fair share of work, and more. They are courteous and caring. No pretense.
What is your intention when you get dressed daily? Do you try to impress, or are you building rapport with others because you care for them, and dressing is one of the tools that help you communicate and connect better?
For those of you who are dressing well to find a potential life partner, I caution you to look beyond appearances after the first few moments. Get to know the person. Of course, for those who are caring and decent within, but who need help with their image, I am here to help! Then the inner and outer selves can truly be congruent.
