In the first entry about eye contact, I said that I would write more about this. However, no inspiration came until the day when I went into a perfume store trying a product. So here it is...
I find that, no matter how much we control our eye contact, how we see people, much of it is unconscious. It reflects our state of mind, so unless the person is a real good liar, the eyes reveal what you are thinking at every moment.
As I inquired about the perfume I wanted to try, the salesperson's eyes were fine. However, when I asked about whether the chemical aldehyde was in the product, her eyes darted all over the place, as she said: no, there wasn't any chemical in the perfume.
I know better - I've done the research on the perfume, and know that there was aldehyde in one of the brands of the company's products. She didn't do her research, and had to appear to be expert-like just to sell me the product. In the end, I did not end up buying it. I may have, if she was sincere. But she wasn't, and her darting eyes made me feel uncomfortable, and made me think that she wasn't trustworthy.
We buy from people we like.
In the end, rather than controlling how your eyes appear to people, it's better to control the mind - if you are honest and have nothing to hide, your eyes, face and body will reveal that. The opposite is also true, that if you are saying something that is not true, your body language and eye contact will not be integrative.
Image management is best if a person learns to manage his/her mind as well.
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