I hate washing the dishes. In the past, when it was dishwashing time after dinner, me and my sister had to remember whose turn it was. At times we argued about whose turn it was, because we both hated doing the dishes.
It wasn't like this when we were children. One day I just asked mom whether I could wash the dishes, because I thought it was fun. It was a spontaneous, playful act, not a chore. I wasn't forced to do it, and I didn't have to do it every day.
However, one day a few years later, mom got tired of doing the dishes. She gave me and my sister the pouty lipped look, and guilt tripped us by saying that we never helped with housework, and that we should at least be washing the dishes. And so we did, although unwillingly. From that day on, washing dishes is a chore - not something to be enjoyed.
What was the difference between the childhood scenario and the one that happened years later? The first one displayed the spontaneous, fun nature of a child. The second displayed an education from mom - mom taught us that washing dishes was no fun. It was a chore, and had to be done. So automatically no one wanted to do it.
Are you living your life as if you are doing your duty, your responsibility, rather than enjoying it? Are you a slave to your duties, or are you a child at heart who enjoys life? We set examples to others who are around us. If certain actions are demanded from us, as if it is an order for us to do something, we feel forced, unempowered. Yet, if something was politely requested, and it was OK even if we don't do it, we'd feel empowered, and even want to help, by doing something. And, if we are shown that it is actually fun to do something, we attract others to do the same.
What does this have to do with image management? Your attitude is your image! If a person is well dressed but barks orders, the person is not empowering anyone. The first impression may be positive, but it certainly would be negative once someone gets to know this person. But, if a person is well dressed and enjoys life (rather than making others to do whatever they bark out), the person is a leader by "being".
I still dislike doing the dishes when I dine with my family. I noticed that I am less averse to the task when I dine with others who do not request or expect me to do the dishes.
Maria, I had to chuckle when I read your blog. I was taking care of my grandsons for a couple of days and when I asked one to put the dishes away from the dishwasher, he said, "I'm not a slave." I followed that with, "Is your mother one?"
You have it right, Maria, to keep balance, we need to "Whistle While You Work." Thanks for such fresh approaches to image!
Posted by: Robyn McMaster | June 7, 2006 2:30 AM | Permalink to Comment